My GF is having trouble with her eating disorder again, what is helpful and what is not helpful?
She lost her Kaiser intensive outpatient food group clinic insurance so she lost the connections she established there. Recently she got a job related to modeling that seems to push her food disorder problem into a bad direction as it upsets her for various reasons, for example she is expected to look good for work and that means not eating, restricting, or binge/purge. What is helpful in this type of situation? Please, help me out here.
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the fact that you’re so worried is really sweet. what you don’t really want to do is talk about it in a pressured way. cooking for her would be a great start. or better still. cook together. this will create a better relationship with food for her, and will also be a nice thing for the two of you to do together. also establish regular eating times. get up with her and make her breakfast to eat together. and do the same with dinner. don’t mention her eating disorder, just start doing it. otherwise she will get defensive
if you want her to join a support group, which would be very helpful for her, casually ask her whether she sorted out her outpatient insurance yet, and when she says no, say ‘don’t worry… i’ll sort it out for you’. you’ll earn brownie points, and be helping her at the same time
go on http://www.blueboomerang.com to find support groups
also tell her that she is gorgeous, but better still, specify what part of her looks gorgeous. be observant. note if she’s werring new clothes or shoes. and tell her that they look great. also tell her how much you love her body. it will establish a good attitude in her mind towards it
good luck
well reassure her that she is beautiful without sounding like you are trying to convince her of anything. suggest that you go on a hike or bike riding or something physical so that she is being active and staying in shape. maybe look into a diet that is healthy and cook her some healthy food. ease her into the right way to look thin and be healthy.
tell her to get another job. she shouldnt be depriving her body of foods and nutrients.
you need to be supportive of her, control issues and stuff on google.com,,,,, she won’t stop until she is …. but it’s mostly a control issues….
First off, kudos to you for being so sweet and wanting the best help for your girlfriend.
A support group and/or therapy would be a very helpful thing for her. The most difficult thing is that eating disorders are control issues, as well as mental disorders. The key to treatment and recovery is acknowledgment that you have a problem. This is difficult because many people who have easting disorders do not want to acknowledge them.
Please check my source list for some very helpful links, all together in one spot.
(I work with a health website, and our researchers work hard to find the best information about a variety of health topics.)
I guess the best thing you can do is be supportive and caring, rather than critical or angry. If she thinks you are trying to make her feel bad she may push you away.
Make sure she understands that you care about her, and want her to be healthy and well. Tell her (calmly) that you are worried about her eating, and it upsets you knowing what she’s doing. Perhaps you could suggest that you do some research together to try to find ways to help her to eat regularly and sensibly.
I used to have some friends with eating disorders, and they sometimes found it hard to relate to people who haven’t been there, so it would be a good idea to try to find an alternative support group.
A modelling environment is very dangerous for someone with an eating disorder, although she might already realise this… if she does, she might consider looking for a different job where there isn’t the same focus on her weight.