Anxiety…….?
I am suffering from anxiety attacks, I just feel like my stomach is in knots and I’m jittery and worried, and feel sick.
My ex-b/f welcomed me into his group and basically my social life revolved around him and friends in the midlands. Then my best friend moved up there, and now two of my other friends have moved up there. So I’ve not just lost my boyfriend, I’ve lost a good group of friends (well, not ‘lost’ them, but won’t be seeing them anywhere near as often), so feeling a little isolated.
I have some good friend in London, but don’t feel like it’s ever gonna be the same. I felt like I belonged and that I was happy for the first time in my life. Now it’s all changing again and I feel sick about it!
I know the answer is to widen my social circle … But how do you do that? It’s not easy…. I just want to crawl into a hole, but I know that’s the worst possible thing i could do and that I need to get out and meet people.
Any tips to stop the anxiety in the meantime?
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hi there, firstly you need to compartmentalise the two issues firstly deal with "panic attacks" and the best way to succesfully Free yourself of this condition is to go back by way of writing down when they started!
What made them start! and why do i live in fear of another episode ( panic attack) now the reason you will have success gaining your life back is because be writing it enables you to identify with more clarity the What, Where and Why factors..
The most dis-empowering about Panic Attacks is the mindset that it creates whereby you feel like you have no control.
And you do the whole Panic ( anxierty condition) is created by you and it will pass, over a period of time (usually half an hour) per episode.
Write everything down from today on! to do with this thing that is known as "it " the name is manufactured by the very premise that "it" is you losing control for a period of time "it" is has no reality only the reality that you give "it".
Also start from today saying to friends etc that you are recovering from "it" take away "it" control over your life…
You created "it" and you can destroy and gain your life back..
Meditation is a good tool also, reason being you slow your mind down from thoughts when "it" comes and you can"t clearly think of one thing to concentrate on ( jumbled thought patterns).kick in.
if you feel really anxious it"s the ( fight or flight ) kicking in read your notes from past.
Also link in with a support group as there are many survivors of "it".
Put the social stuff on hold interms of priorities as you need to get "it" out of your life..
Stay well clear or Benzo"s (Valium etc) they will turn "it" into a reality..
Good luck you can beat this "it" has had its Day..
just try to enjoy your own company and relax, you won’t make much friends if you come across as needy, have a night doing what you like best like a nice warm bath, your fave bok, a good film and unwind
I have depression so know how you feel try breathing exercises aromatherapy that helps.
I recently was put on Ativan for anxiety attacks. It is a temporary fix but it helps one to get their life back in focus after a traumatic experience. Keep busy, eat healthy and exercise! They will all help you to refocus your life. Good Luck!
Something very similar happened to me & I happen to have anxiety too. The way I got over it without seeing a doctor is by not putting so much importance on one thing, namely, "friends". Friends are important but do you picture your "friends" having anxiety attacks over you? If you don’t maybe its not worth it. Sometimes those who you think are friends are really not but its never too late to apologize or do the right thing, whether that be their duty or yours.
Hi,
You can widen your social circul by joining a gym not only is there a chance to meet new friends the physical activitiy will releive your anxiety
If this is not for you try taking an evening class or part time collage course.
If you dont work get a job even if its a few hours cleaning. or voluntary work
It is all part of growing up when i was younger i had a group of friend where we hung out all the time I moved to the Linconshire then to London then To Manchester so lost touch
Stop worrying ! (easier said…)
The main thing is to focus on you and make sure that you are in the right place .. once you have done that everything will seem brighter.
Improvements in your life are often a result of a perspective shift than a physical change (the metaphorical half empty / half full glass). Once your outlook changes, the grey cloud over everything else will lift as well.
As you said you have good friends in London .. that is something to celebrate … and you say that things wont be the same (that is the half empty glass) .. I say that you have an opportunity to change things so they are better (half full) ..
There is a world of new opportunities out there for you so go gettem
Try joining a voluntary group – people always needed and welcomed if not that a night school group or some such – welcome challenges do not look on them as a chore.
Try not to feed the anxiety with self doubt, alcohol or drugs as I did in the past – it really only makes matters worse.
Guess everyones panics for a different reason.
I have had about 4 major panic attacks in the last few years.
I can feel pretty low at times, this being the reason for the onset.
Cutting out alcohol has worked alot for me.
When i feel anxious at any time of day, i just take 5 deep breaths in and out, that seems to reduce the level by 50pct.
Of course getting out , meeting new people, exercising, and eating healthy are the recommendations we know will probally stop these horrible feelings.
Doing it is another story, i guess there is only 1 person that can resolve this, and that is you and you alone.
Good luck for future
Be strong
Widen your social horizons by taking up hobbies, join a night class, a gym or perhaps do some voluntary work in your spare time. I am sure there are some of the group that you can still call up to socialise with. I am a wee bit confused about where your best friends are, if they have just moved away, go and visit them at weekends.
When you feel an anxiety attack coming on try to do breathing exercises, breath into a paper bag (it really works). It may also be an idea to visit your GP and get advice from him regarding the panic attacks.
Don’t worry you will get your life back, just don’t try to rush into anything as a reaction to this, you are fragile at the minute and need to give yourself time to heal. But you will get there.
Good luck.
You are not alone! Exact same thing happened to me.. my gf just left me.. with it I have lost some great friends.. and it felt like everything I took for granted is just not there any more..
There is no easy way out.. but just hang in there and make no mistake everything WILL be fine.. you will soon like being independent. You will not believe this right now, but you will soon forget all the losses and move on with your life. Hardly ever regretting what happened and believing it just happened.
Tips to reduce anxiety would be to exercise… have a busy regular kind of a schedule… drinking loads and loads of coffee (helped me..but it increases anxiety in many many people)…. if you still feel like you need some thing.. then you can maybe talk to a doctor and take any anti-anxiety med like xanax.
Best of luck !
Volunteeer in chidren’s activities.
For the anxiety attacks, try progressive muscle relaxation (it helps me). Also, make sure that you don’t avoid things when you have the anxiety attacks. That makes them worse. Do whatever you were doing, or if you are home, go for a walk or something. If they get really bad, see a doctor, don’t try to medicate yourself (alcohol, drugs etc.) as this could lead to a bad path, also as a suffereer of anxiety attacks, my worst ones are the day or two after a night of drinking (which is why I rarely do that anymore).
As far as friends, I am not sure how old you are, which could help. But you could maek friends at school/work, or search out social groups that do things you like. It may take awhile, but you will find new friends whom you like to be around.
Good luck.
It is not easy overcoming nerves and anxiety, but the best way to meet new people is to stop worrying about what people will think about you, and to start thinking how you can put others at ease when meeing you. Some people can meet the world with a brave face and still be a bundle of nerves underneath. If you meet people doing an activity that you enjoy, they will probably be like minded, and have things in common. That is better than mixing in on a noisy social activity like clubbing where you might drink too much, and the noise would not be conducive to proper conversation. I was once told to imagine the person i was meeting sitting on the toilet with pants around ankles, that image guarantees you will not feel overwhelmed.